I Am The Wolf

In my writing I refer often to a light wolf and a dark wolf both of which are inside of me. Without the light wolf there is no dark wolf and because of that I am the wolf. Here is the parable about which I am speaking:

An old Cherokee Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life.

He said, "A fight is going on inside me," he told the young boy, "a fight between two wolves.

The Dark one is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. He continued, The Light Wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you grandson…and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee smiled and simply said, "The one you feed".

I should note here that I am not Indigenous, but the teaching above is relatable for me, and I think the representation is helpful in that it allows me to separate the parts of me that I struggle with, and to compartmentalize the pieces that I want to work on, or even to silence.

The Dark Wolf

• Tells me I'm not good enough

• Loves shame

• Succumbs to addiction

• Indulges in self medication

• Nihilistic and hedonistic

• Isolates himself

• Tempts suicidal ideation

• Ego

• Wants to protect itself

The Light Wolf

• Is a good father, husband, brother, son, uncle, teacher and friend

• Is empathetic

• Enjoys moderation

• Practices objectivism and realism

• Is social

• Appreciates the beauty in life

• Selfless

• Wants to protect itself

The battle rages on, day after day, after day. The dark Wolf isn't all bad. Especially the part that is my ego. I have done enough therapy and soul-searching to know that my ego is a part of me that wants to protect myself. It doesn't always work the way I want it to but it is a part of me that wants to keep me healthy and safe. I'll do another post about ego another time.

I like this parable because while both wolves are inside me and I do my best to feed the light Wolf, they are inseparable. They need to exist at the same time, which means, they are one and the same; thus, I AM THE WOLF.