Hell In A Handbasket

This world is going to hell in a handbasket. I am having a hard time finding a way to get through my days in a good way while so many bad things are popping up on my news feed. From the Ukraine-Russia conflict, the Palestine-Israel conflict and now ICE agents killing white women in America.

One morning, I was sitting in front of my campfire waiting for the water to boil so that I could try to enjoy a coffee I was struggling with the fact that I don't know what this world has come to. Not just in a casual way, but a "feel it in my core," kind of way. I worry about what the world is going to look like for my daughters, and that causes me a lot of fear and anxiety. I looked up at the trees and asked aloud "How am I supposed to get through this?!" And then the answer came from the trees, "Dude, we're fine."

Something clicked inside me. I thought to myself, "yeah...they are fine." Trees have been here long before I was, and they're going to be here long after I'm gone. Trees know how to tree. I'm the one struggling with being a human. A quote from George Carlin popped into my head:

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"The planet is fine...the people are fucked! - George Carlin

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But it was a humbling thought. Nature doesn't care about me. The trees told me I have to figure this out because it's not their problem, it's mine. Trees know how to stand tall in the face of adversity. They have roots that keep them firmly planted when big winds blow, and they have strong trunks and branches for when the snow falls and weighs them down. If you want to kill a tree you need to cut it down or burn it down. But, if for some reason the tree does get blown down, uprooted or broken, it is still useful to the environment in which it remains. It is still of service. They still provide nutrients and shelter, just differently. I need to remember that when the winds in my life blow, or the snow falls on my branches I have the strength and the support to be able to still be of service, I can still be useful. I can help break the wind for the other trees around me, and I can provide shade, food and shelter. And trees don't exist on their own. They've got a community around them. So do I.

But trees can't control what people are doing to each other and neither can I. All I can control is how I show up in the world.

But how do I show up in a good way when so much shit is going on in the world all around me? And then this song lyric came to me:

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"The good are good without reward," - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

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I thought to myself, "yeah...yeah, the good are good without reward. I need to do good, to be good, and that's all I can control." So then I started thinking about the Tao Te Ching and the lesson there is that without evil there can be no good. Without a dark wolf, there can be no light wolf. But I needed to start feeding my light wolf because I was spiralling in my own head and the dark wolf was winning.

On my drive to work that morning I listened to the audio version of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. This book is a must read for every man. Marcus's Meditations were never supposed to be published, it was his own personal journal that somehow got preserved after he died and now it's something that I keep on me at all times. It's a guide to doing good, and being good. But it's also a demonstration that even the most powerful men falter and need reminding.

As I was driving, I was trying to point a proverbial finger at what was getting me down, and all I kept thinking about was "the system." The system was what was getting me down. And that thought was overwhelming. So I knew I had to bring it back to me. While I was looking outwards to find a reason for my struggle, my anguish, I needed to remind myself, with Marcus' help, that the real reason was inside. I needed to bring it back and focus on the things that I can control:

• My thoughts

• My emotions

• My actions

I can't control the system, and I certainly can't control the people who are in control of the system. I can, however, control myself. I need to do good, because it is good. When I focus on the bad that's in this world, the depression sets in; when I focus on doing good, and proving to myself that I am good and that I have a good life, I can escape depression's icy grips.